Unfulfilled Dreams and Undivided Hearts

I was catching up with my brother Steve last week and we got onto the subject of our dreams. In many ways, we're in similar places: pursuing our dreams yet living with the reality that those dreams are as yet unfulfilled. He's pursuing the dream of getting signed to a major record label (with his band Last Go), whilst Bee and I are pursuing the dream of church-planting. As far as Steve and I can tell, we both believe the dreams are God-given, and both revolve around extending his kingdom in the world. Yet pursuing these dreams and trusting that God is in charge is a rocky road.

When things feel out of control our instinct is to grab hold of whatever we can in attempt to gain control again. Such an instinct has two ramifications: firstly we turn from looking to God as the one who fulfills dreams (looking internally instead), and secondly we begin to micromanage. We fascinate ourselves with the small (and often inconsequential) details in an attempt to find security in the midst of our panic and anxiety. Trust me, neither option bears any fruit.

The Psalmist has an altogether different approach of meeting God in the place of anxiety. He simply prays: Lord give me an undivided heart (Psalm 86:7). The greek word for anxiety (used for example in Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything...) literally means to be divided. It's as if there is a war within to either trust God or to take control ourselves, and such a battle creates tension. So the Psalmist prays for an undivided heart. In other words, 'help me to trust that you are my provider, the one who brings about the dreams you deposit in peoples hearts (Phil 1:6) and the one who works all things for good (Rom 8:28).'

Learning to trust God is a battle of the mind, but the battle is equally fought elsewhere. As Luther suggested, trust is about leaning on the promises and character of God. Put simply, trust is about acting in the light of what we know of God. It's not simply about believing, but about acting on those beliefs. So if we truly believe he is loving, good and all-powerful, we act accordingly. Which raises the potentially painful question: what do we really believe about God? We need to provide an honest answer to that question (rather than the answer we know we should provide): for only then can we ask God to dismantle our distorted perceptions and to reveal himself as he truly is. This initiates the journey of learning to lean and trust in God, the fruit of which Paul goes on to explain as inner peace in the place of panic: 'And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).'

The road of trusting God with our dreams will no doubt still remain rocky. The transformation that comes about through trust isn't to do with the road and how rocky it is. It's to do with our hearts and how undivided they are. So like the Psalmist, Steve and I are learning to pray 'Lord give me an undivided heart' whilst we travel on the rocky road towards our dreams.

By the way, to check out Steve's music, visit www.myspace.com/lastgo